Беленький Марьян (belenky) wrote,
Беленький Марьян
belenky

"Вредные советы " перевели на английский. Оценить качество перевода в силу слабого знания языка я не могу.
Гляньте, пожалуйста, кто понимает, и сообщите ваше мнение:
Переводчик Ирен Ронин




If you weren’t involved in terror,
Real mass and bloody terror,
And the deaths of many people
You have never organized,
Then the Nobel Prize Committee
Will reject your application –
You are hopeless and Nobel
Prize for Peace you’ll never get.


If you feel the threat from bandits,
Who are planning to attack you,
And to take your home and land,

Please contact the PM’s office,
He will send the IDF.
And to make the bandits happy
You’ll be quickly “disengaged”.

***

If a raging, vicious bandit
Flies at you with a deadly weapon,
Deadly, automatic weapon,
Wants to shoot you on the spot;

Please be nice and understanding,
He is truly good at heart.
Don’t blame him, blame his awful,
Hungry, terrible childhood.

We must give him gifts, and let him
Go free, and never jail him.
May be he’ll appreciate it
And hurt others instead of us.

***

If you home is broken into
And the robbers want to kill you,
Don’t forget to make an offer
That they surely can’t refuse:

It’s a state of their own!
They’ll admit how wrong they have been
And in sheer gratitude they’ll bring
Valuable presents for your family and you.

***
If you are stranded in the open,
And you come under attack,
You must be alert and watch
For the UN Peacekeeping force.

If you see them – call for help.
Watch them, watch them run right past you,
Watch them help the terrorists.

***

If you want to scare someone,
Really, really scare someone,
Make them shake in their boots –
Go and show them the settlers.

There is nothing in the world
That’s more frightening than those
Guys in beards and kipot;
And they sure present more danger
Than the guys in kufiyyas.

***
Let’s give everything to Arabs:
Earth, and sky, and hill, and dale.
Let’s be nice and welcome home
Poor, haggard refugees.

As for us – let’s walk together,
Let’s start marching to the sea.
When we reach the shore, let’s softly
(So we don’t disturb the Arabs),
Let us ever so softly, not a whimper,
Not a whisper, go drown in the sea.
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